Bittersweet Life...

Monday, May 16, 2005

im back, finally, from the hellish and torment of the 7 day residential camp at tracom... 7 days of no tv, no comp, no air con... and no coke. thank goodness, we can still use our hps, at nite onli b4 lites out. but still, my hp batt went flat on the 5th day... and we werent allowed to charge our hps... however, i took a totally huge risk in charging my hp, resulting in a near miss of being caught by CII.

i really wanted to go home by the end of 2nd nite.... there was no motivation or morale boosting. by tt time, i really regretted coming down for the camp, even felt regretted goin for the whole course. but then, the good looking and macho ns guys kept me goin.. and im not kiddin. they stayed near my bunk block... so i can catch a glimpse of several squads every day and nite. also, the girls in my bunk were really chatty.. and tt was wat i need at the end of every nite. it's not the end of the day when they say lites out... we had 'hw' to do... and had to hand it in by the next day. yes... so we did the hw in the dark, with lil help frm torchlite. at the same time, we took risk of bein caught by the CIIs. but i had the fun times in the bunk.

i wont say tt i had fun... and i wont say tt i didnt have fun either... my squad was cooperative, and i could onli count those times with onli one hand... the instructors were damn strict and heartless. the pt (physical training) which i had twice daily really drained me out. try running ard a basketball court 5 rounds in the morn and like as if runnin 2.4km every evening, for 6 days....

by the 3rd or 4th nite, i was physically tired... but still mentally strong. the way the instructors pushed me and talked to us durin debrief made me go all out to stay on at camp... the head of training said tt most of us are still mentally strong... and yes, i was. but my body was longin to go home... i really pushed myself to the limits at this camp. i didnt noe i could run so much in a day... running up and down slopes, joggin frm point A to B most of the times with belongings in one hand.... i did stuff which no other sch camps could provide.

on the last nite, i teared a lil when the head trainin field said her stuff to us.. like we did our best, and it was gd tt we chose to stay... man, at tt point of time, i really missed home.. i so wanted the last to end at tt time, but there was still abt 12 more hrs b4 break of camp. even when the camp coordinator said tt we should treasure the last mass debrief, i started to tear again.. but it was not a lot.. the tears didnt flow down my cheeks.. even when the whole batch cheered out the batch cheer together was a sentimental moment.

as i spent my time in tracom, i find myself reasons as to why i stayed on the camp. firstly, it was an experience which i could not get anywhere esle... unless i go for ns. it's a pretty unique journey for a girl, to camp in a place out of comfort zone with lil accesibilities and enormous amount of obstacles to go thru for 7 days... i mean, a guy can get thru this for 2 yrs during ns.. but a girl? now, i partly noe how ns guys feel when they say they badly wanna book out... i would like to test myself and see how i turned out at the end of the gruellin 7 days camp. i think i did pretty well..

secondly, the good lookin guys. hmm... well, there's the ns guys of coz.. and also the instructors. not all la.. some are really cute and macho, even they yelled at ppl. intructors- meanin CIIs plus FIs... haha.. i told ema bout the FI one.. rite girl? i think this is THE reason y i stayed on... these gd lookin ppl are the one tt made me looked forward to the next day... not kiddin with u ppl... haha.. and honestly, one of them could really make me happy even when the day was shitty... really. it's like, my whole day was soo crappy and i really longed to see tt one person to make my day better coz i didnt see him the whole day.. and he suddenly turned up. man, i suddenly felt gd.. it's like as if i was enlightened.. he also made me look forward to the dreadful lessons the next day.. onli those lessons tt i noe he would be present for. me insane? childish? maybe... this huge infatuation would go away... soon, i think.. i dunno.. he's too charmin and laid back.. hehe.. and u cant blame me. i was away frm the world for 7 days.. with no source of entertainment..

however, this is onli half the battle gone... i was happy tt the camp had ended, but it's no big dillio. i still have a mth more b4 i can pass out as a CI. i still have weekend trainings to attend and another camp at ubin. may my spirit and passion keep me goin... haha..

i wont be bloggin for another 3 or 4 days... y? coz im goin for another CAMP!!! haha... yeah, call me craziee.. 3 camps in a row.. first, the sp camp.. then the CI rc camp.. tmr, it'll be this mly camp at sp... yeah.. mly camp. my mly very the rusty already... nvm la, juz go for the fun of it.. haha.. i still am very tired for the rc camp.. and i dunno how the mly sp camp gonna be. im anxious to noe... haha..

ah Boi: yes waga waga... im backkkk!!! and im goin away again tmr.. haha..
feli: i miss u soo much... go shoppin again soon ok.. but sch's gonna start soon also.. so how? give me a call anytime.. k dearie?
archfreak: hi freak.. yes, i miss u too... i miss everyone.. im away for a couple of weeks straight la... tt's y u've not heard frm me..
hanyemom: no la... not yet sign up for the NPCC kat sp... this is one is juz a course to get a new rank.. sth like tt la... and i sooo tootaallyy agree with u. ade banyak guys worth droolin at... heheh...
so?: hi gorgeous...! da lame tak meet up... :( miss the gang soo much... esp u.. ;)

to the bloggers in my links... i've read all ur bloggies... onli laziee to tag.. and, man.. i missed out alot.. haiz.. to all my gfs, hope to catch up with u girls soon...

Smashed into pieces at 5/16/2005 01:31:00 PM